Cheeky
by Jujubee1981
Summary: Nikola is up to his usual tricks. Am I the only one who wishes they'd make him a main character? The guy walks away with every scene he's in!


Nikola Tesla landed on top of Helen Magnus like a ton of wet cement. If she hadn't known him for over a century, the hard weight of the slim scientist's body might've been more surprising. As it stood, she was unsurprised but still totally squashed. She wriggled ineffectively beneath him and he propped his weight onto his elbows, fiercely hissing "Sh!" in her ear. She stilled, now that she was no longer crushed, and listened. The silence of the pitch black barn was broken by the regular creak of hinges from the stall doors and something else. The delicate rustle of straw beneath feet. Nikola put his mouth against her ear, saying soundlessly, "Stay here." He pulled back and looked into her face sternly. She nodded and he noiselessly rose. She missed his solid, reassuring weight immediately and lay frozen in position barely daring to breathe.

She normally wasn't a damsel-in-distress sort and she resented that she was thrust into the role with Nikola Tesla acting as bemused spectator and white knight en suite, but Nikola was the only one of the group who seemed immune to the venomous gaze of the humanoid abnormal the team had been trying to contain on this abandoned East Texas ranch for the past week. One by one, the team members had fallen with no more than a glance from the abnormal. Several hours of seizures and vomiting were the effect. Helen shuddered to think what prolonged exposure to the creature's gaze might do to them. Tesla, however, who had presented himself on the doorstep of the ranch house no more than an hour before, claimed the abnormal had no worse effect on him than a mild headache. The former vampire said the creature emitted waves of energy which Tesla's electromagnetic talents naturally disrupted enough to neutralize the effects. Helen suspected the timing of his arrival at the ranch wasn't a coincidence, but was now too grateful for his presence to question him about it.

She lay frozen in the straw listening to the creak of old hinges. A cool hand clamped over her mouth and she jerked. It was Nikola. He gave her a toothy grin and held a finger up to his lips to indicate she should keep quiet. He bent down and breathed into her ear. "Syringe?" He took his hand from her mouth and she moved as silently as she could, removing a prepared syringe of heavy narcotics from her jacket pocket. Tranqs had proved useless, but this cocktail was capable of knocking out even the Big Guy for a couple of days and Helen was sure it would give them enough time to at least immobilize and blindfold the abnormal. Nikola delicately took the syringe from her, examined it briefly and tucked it neatly into the ticket pocket of his waistcoat. He smirked and bent close to her face. "You owe me." He informed her, flicking his gaze down to her lips and then meeting her eyes again with a quirk of his eyebrows. He brushed her nose with his, giving her a tiny electromagnetic shock and eliciting a surprised and exasperated breath from her. He chuckled noiselessly and slipped back into the blackness.

The battle was won almost before it had begun. The abnormal, unused to encountering a foe immune to its defenses, all but allowed Tesla to walk up and inject the drug cocktail into its neck. When it had crumpled to the floor Nikola said in his usual modulated tone of voice, "Helen. You can come out, my dear. I've saved you."

Helen picked up her satchel and hurried out to where he stood, smiling smugly, over the unconscious form of the abnormal. Helen bent quickly to place a locking headgear over the creature's head, blocking its eyes. Then she moved to secure its hands and feet. Because the creature was humanoid – maybe a little purpler and scalier than your average human, but still – traditional restraints were effective. She used handcuffs.

"Come on, let's go see who's well enough now to help load it up." She said, rising to her feet and dusting off her hands.

"You go. I'll stay here and ensure our new friend doesn't wake up." Nikola said. Helen hesitated, but nodded and handed over a second syringe of the drug cocktail.

"Just in case." She said.

"Mm." Agreed Nikola, tucking the syringe into the same ticket pocket he had put the first. He raised his eyebrows at her and said mildly. "I think I deserve a kiss from the lady for saving her life."

"Hardly my life, Nikola, and, anyway, as I recall you've already squandered your kiss for saving my life." Helen said in reply.

"Squandered!? I?" Nikola grinned. "Come on, Helen, the kids are asleep. No one to see us." He glanced down at the blindfolded and drugged abnormal. "No one to see us at all."

Helen rolled her eyes, trying to smother a smile. Nikola's more obnoxious personality traits were somehow incredibly endearing compared to his megalomaniacal, and occasionally homicidal, qualities. She leaned in and bussed him pertly on the lips. He blinked like an owl, his usual mask of self-satisfaction slipping for a moment. He quickly recovered and grinned even more broadly.

"You kiss like a virgin." He declared, deliberately provoking her. "All tight lips and courage. I know you can do better."

Helen laughed out loud. "That's all you're getting, Nikola. I'll be right back. Be careful."

"Your concern is touching. I will be the soul of caution." Nikola vowed, schooling his foxy features into saintlike smoothness and patting his ticket pocket sincerely.

Helen gave him a narrow look and jogged back to the ranch house to get help from those who were well enough. Ten minutes later she returned, followed by Kate and Will, to find that Nikola Tesla had absconded with her abnormal.

"Bloodly bastard." She said. But her lips twitched with amusement. "Bloody, cheeky bastard." She repeated.


End file.
